The clock is ticking. This is one final attempt to motivate you before the clock strikes midnight on 1/12021. What is it going to take? Does a world actually have to end for yours to finally began? I find nothing about self-sacrifice admirable. Shredding yourselves down, with no other purpose besides stunting your own growth and desires in the name of family. And calling it Happy.

Who taught you to call that devotion?

I’m consumed with making cliche references to the exiting year, but when speaking on your muted existence, I cannot help it. Look around you. Look around you! It’s as if we’re all waiting for the sky to fall and yet, you continue to look the ground!

Pick your fucking head up and STOP. Please.

Minimizing yourself. Taking small minimizing bites of life, giving all that you have left to those who need you. As if you don’t need you first. Denying that doesn’t make you selfless. It makes you weak. By supernatural, divine design and the natural order of the Universe, you are not weak. Where is your strength, sista? It’s as if you have to be needed. I see your households evolving; children are preparing to take flight from your nest while you hide in corners and watch.

Where will you be when they stop needing you?

It is the great tragedy of two of the most beautiful unions; motherhood and partnership. You’ve forgotten about you. It is not in the playbook, it is a choice. It is not in the playbook, it is a choice. It is not in the playbook.

We are a society of empowerment; our own little kingdom of kick-ass. if we think it ~ we can do it. What are you doing?

Don’t tell me about what everyone needs from you. Tell me the truth. Tell me how when night falls, so do you. Exhausted. Tell how you wonder if there will be any part of you left for you. After all that we now know, you are outright refusing to be good to you.

There’s nothing holding you back, but you. From whatever it is that you want to do. There’s nothing holding you back but you. And you are holding onto the reigns pretty tight. It is fear.

You will no longer blame your children and families. It is you. You are afraid. How do you so easily attach to fear when you won’t even allow your children say the word? I don’t think it’s the kids relying on you, it’s you relying on them. What happens when everyone settles into their own worlds?

You’ll turn bitter. Cold. Is this the spirit that you want to take into other seasons?

As an elder, our colors should be even more vibrant. You are supposed to be the one whose age they can’t guess.

Nothing is worth more than you.

What will you do without you? You don’t ever want to answer that. Look at all that you haven’t done so far. You are refusing to grow, refusing to fall deeply in love, with you. I’ll ask this question again, the theme that ends here and begins again, charged and filled with love –

If not now, when?

I love you.

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