I went away today.
Fire led the way.
I walked into the kingdom of desire,
And found you waiting for me.
Crown on your head,
Too many gems to name.
You held a lit match in one hand
Crown of fire in the other,
It was for me.
Your smile told me what I knew,
I was home.
I wanted to stay.
I always want to stay,
But an ancestor kissed my face and said,
I had to come back here in order
To get back to where you’d always be.
But still, I needed to see.
I needed to see our next lifetime.
Breathe in the scent of life with you,
Every days and all-nights
Not in moments, but in Forevers.
I needed to see our lazy Saturday mornings,
Our routine Sundays,
You’d do laundry,
I can’t fold for shit.
I needed to feel you,
See us wrapped in infinity
Our epoch flowing.
I needed to know the feeling of nothing being final,
But everything being always,
Everyday being new.
Oh, how you lift me.
This high, this experience with you
It’s triple OG kush, baby.
Free. Deep. Big.
Intimate, but out loud.
I had to go but,
I just needed to linger for a moment, freeze frame it.
Because there’s always a part of me that
Wonders what if.
So I sat in the corner and closed my eyes.
I smell bergamot and frankincense, simmering pots with rainbow ingredients,
I’m singing along to something on the turntable.
Nah, it was Anita.
You bring me joy.
Your favorite glass, room temperature Sangria..
I felt myself smiling, filling your glass
Hearing your key turn the lock on the door.
As if on que, Lalah croons Angel through the speaker.
I have permanent smile lines fucking with you.
You, bring me joy.
I see TiTi, perched on the sofa, ears perked.
But she settles and releases a sigh when you walk in
She knew it was you.
I did too.
The first time I looked at you,
You saw it too.
I knew I’d felt you before.
Your energy found me long ago
You felt entirely too familiar the first time we made love,
The way you navigated me, traced my course,
Pulled dead roots from me, with every orgasm,
bruised and unloved pieces of me were illuminated.
I was lifted.
And I don’t know a damn thing
About the ground anymore.
You’ve been here before.
It’s as if I was lost for a lifetime,
Running away, but towards you at the same time.
Searching, comparing, wondering,
I know you’ll be my last love.
Which absolutely means that you just may be my first,
Maybe that’s why we flow like we do, because we know
That we have forever to go.
In another life.