Gobble, Gobble Jive Turkeys!

Tis the season of Thankfulness. I can remember scrolling and comparing and thinking, gotdamn I can’t wait to shine like that! Everyone’s lives just appeared so intact and fun and together. And then, there was my life. Calamity Janell. A hot ass mess in process. I didn’t care about their lives being a facade or “for the gram”. It didn’t look like my mess of a life and I would’ve given anything to fake it while I figured out how to make it.

While I am still very immersed into figuring it out, I am figuring it out. I’m moving and shaking shit up in the process. I’m still a hot ass mess. But I ain’t doing no comparisons and I ain’t hoping for a thing. I’m waiting and expecting.I feel good. Literally.

Nothing but good comes from me so my arms are open wide, awaiting more. Whether it comes tiptoes in and out, or stays for a long while. I’m grateful and so very thankful.

I am also thankful for:

1. Voice. There’s not a person on this earth powerful enough to mute this big ole voice of mine ever again.

2. Exit doors. The real ones and the mental ones. I walk it out.

3. Help. When I review this little ole life of mine, wheeeeew! The thoughtfulness of others has carried me through in more ways than one.

4. Summer Saturdays. Days become nights, nights become mornings. I never want to come out of that vibe. I feel so free-spirited, charged and unconstrained. Which is why I am also thankful for…

5. Winter weekends. There’s no urgency to commit to anything or be anywhere. I go into a shell. I limit company and go into a deep, deep mode of chill. Shed shaky energy, rest, read a whole lot, stay quiet a whole, whole lot.

6. Sex. Good, good, great, amazing, sex. Mmmmmmmph!

7. Rose’ over ice. Because it feels like a summer night in a glass.

8. Peace. I’m so thankful for peace. Never had it for keeps before and now I can’t imagine life without it. I keep it spinning.

9. Hulu. Ahh! It’s a virgo’s dream. I watch all of my favorites over and over again. Especially Sex in the City.

And last, and certainly not least.

10. I’m so incredibly thankful for love. It’s been the theme of my year. I’m so grateful to know love. So many lessons and amazing experiences. From maternal love to agape love, it flows like a current through me.

I’m so full from it, that it often feels as if I’m levitating. Maybe I am. Just know I’m never letting my feet touch the ground again, if it means that I’ll be void of love.

I hope that your Thanksgiving touches more than your belly. Take a look around, absorb your family’s energy. Be present. Sponge it in, embrace and appreciate the happy nostalgia and be thankful for more memories to come.

From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.

One thought on “#midweekmissle Thankful-mess

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